After deciding that I can finally put a hold on my Glastonbury ban I had installed over the weekend I caught up with all the bands that I would have wanted to see but miss on the BBC's fantastic online coverage. After watching Tame Impala's pant wettingly good set I then watched Nick Cave from Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds literally make a girl wet herself (in a sexy way) I mean see these screenshots.
I feel sorry for the guy she was on the shoulders of, I really do. I can't make a woman cum after 7 hours of elaborate dry humping but this god does it by singing a song about a guy making another guy suck his dick (thats quite an oversimplification of Stagger Lee but you get the jist). But this is just building up to the first in my list of favourite beards......... (in no order may I stress)
Warren Ellis - Member of Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds
I mean just look at this guy. His beard makes me want to take my pants off and shit in a bus stop. Not
only is he a super talented multi instramentalist but puts Jesus' Beard to shame. He earns beard points with me because of 3 distinct elements 1. Spellbinding wisps 2. Timeless 2 tone beard blend 3. Hides the dreaded neck beard with the length off his chinny chin chin.
The original Captain Caveman Sebastian Chabal's beard is a thing of rugby folklore, If East Londoners could admit that they are all private school rugby boys at heart it would really explain why the whole beard thing really kicked off. This is a fave for another 3 reasons 1. How does he keep it so short at the sides but bushy at the front. I hope it isn't grooming 2. He not only uses it as a weapon of intimidation on the pitch but I would also imagine a weapon of love. Many women have wanted to run their fingers through that face jumper 3. Its very hard to pull off the 2 tone thing like our number 1 entry so serious block colour is a must have
Joaquin Pheonix - Actor/Rapper
The Buffalo hunting/Johnny Cash impersonating Joaquin had to be on the list for this beautiful beard he grew for his (fake) rap project. Not only do I think that all rappers should have beards, but they should all have this beard. This is special for me because 1. It makes his face round like a moon 2. Although his beard is wild like a night speedballing with his now dead brother in one of Johnny Depps LA nightclubs look at the definition on that top lip! 3. Have you heard Joaquin speak? It is so funny with this beard.
Now I know there are plenty of beards I have missed and please comment with your all time faves and maybe I can create a top trumps for all you lovely people to play at home with your grandparents at Christmas, but the beers are kicking in and as you may tell Im running our of words in my memory bank. For a bigger beard fix this evening please see the links below and make sure you sign up to the bottom one, it looks amazing.
No comments:
Post a Comment